[Guest Blog Post #5]
Quo Vita Amplusum
(The Life Understanding)
by Yaweh Parawan Aviles
September 2-3, 2011
INTRODUCTION
I have chosen this title simply because it’s all about life, how we deal on it and how far do we understand life…
As I accidentally watched the “1 Liter of Tears” (August 30, 2011; 07:20PM till September 01, 2011) in youtube which was aired last May 25, 2009 to June 19, 2009, weekdays, 10:15 pm – 10:45 pm in GMA 7 network, I was amazed because this was based from the real life-struggle story of a girl named Aya Ikeuchi of Japan. As I watch the story of her, I got interested to watch it till the last episode just because her story is so inspiring and it will teach you how to understand life.
MY OWN SUMMARY OF THE STORY
1 LITER OF TEARS
Aya Ikeuchi is a 15-year-old girl who passed the exam and studied in Higashikou High School and also an official member of basketball team. She is the oldest among the four; Ako, Hiroki and Rika. Her parents are Shioka and Mizuo while her doctor is Mizuno Hiroshi a neurologists.
In her present age, she feels something strange in her body as she walk, write or pick-up something. She often gets fall down on the street. Not only her have noticed this but even her mother too. So one day, they went to The University of Jonan Hospital; from various examinations other than general check-up, Dr. Mizuno found out that her cerebellum is shrinking. Then her mother and soon to her father was told about this and later she found it by herself that she is suffering of having the disease of spinocerebellar degeneration disease, a condition where there is a slow progression of incoordination of gait, associated with poor coordination of hand, speech and eye movement due to the unexplained shrinking/atrophy of the cerebellum that is responsible for motor control. This disease is common among teenagers but may start even in very young age. This disease slowly takes her teenage years as it takes Aya’s ability to move of her own like walking, balancing, writing and speaking. She was told to write every detail of her doings, what she feels and what she notices in her movement everyday as if writing a DIARY to monitor her condition. For Aya, it is difficult. She mined why the disease chose her. As she thinks of her future, she cries. Why? Because she does not know if she is still alive in that future or in that day she is thinking of. Every day in her life, it is difficult for her. The eyes of the others that are judgmental are at her because of her unusual movement in walking. Her daily activities are affected as eating, talking, holding objects and even walking. But she believes, despite of having this disease, real friends and family are with her to support and comfort her. Few months later, she needs to have wheelchair because she was not able to walk anymore. From Aya’s school, her mother was advised by the teacher to transfer her in a school for the disabled where they can accommodate her and soon she decided it by herself because she does not want her friends/classmates to suffer too through helping her every day in their school and also because their grades are affected too. As time goes by, she returned to The University of Jonan Hospital to continue her physical therapy. During her stay in the hospital, when she writes on her diary and her heart is beating, she believes that these mean she is still living right now. One day, she became a bedridden totally, unable to write and speak and even can’t go to comfort room by herself; and died at the age of 25 (July 19, 1962 - May 23, 1988).
She died of saying “even at my condition, I want to help others”. At one year of her death, many remembered her thru her inspiring life thru the medium of her published diary. Until now she still continues to inspire lots of people that make her still alive in their hearts.
MY UNDERSTANDING OF THE TITLE
I am curious about the title “1 Liter of Tears”; but what I understand is… this liter of tears is the tears of her anguish and ordeals during her entire stay on earth while suffering from the incurable disease.
HER DIARY OF HOPE AND SUFFERINGS
In some parts of her diary, marks of dried tears were seen. I think while she is writing, she can’t help herself not to cry and stop her tears from falling down; because writing a diary is the recording of her past and present events and that her emotions are always present; writing her sorrow and agony that she can’t comprehend before.
As she writes on her diary, the penmanship is from good and eventually to worse. It only connotes that day by day, she struggles to fight the disease that took her young age, and the disease is slowly progressing until she can’t do good penmanship anymore thru the writing that was seen in her diary.
Here are some excerpts from Aya Ikeuchi’s Diary
In some excerptions from her diary, I want you to read it and analyze their meanings and reflect it to your own self.
“If I were a flower, then now I would be a bud.
I shall treasure the beginning of my youth without any regrets.
This disease, why did it choose me?
Fate. It can't be put into words.
I want to make a time machine and go back in time.
If it wasn't for this disease, not only I could enjoy falling in love but I also wouldn’t have to rely on anyone and live by myself.
I really don't want to say things such as 'I want to go back to how things were before.'
I recognize how I am right now, and I will continue to live on.
Therefore I definitely won't run away.
That's what I’ll do. Definitely, always.
Even if it's like that, I still want to stay here because this is the place where I am.
If you look up at the sky after falling down the blue sky is also today stretching limitlessly and smiles at me...I'm alive.
People shouldn’t dwell on the past. It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now. Reality is too cruel, too brutal.
I don’t even have the right to dream.
As I think about the future, the tears will come out again."
In one entry of her diary "I write because writing is evidence that I am still alive."
REVIEWS
Her own diary is the evidence and the witness of her life and her sufferings. During her life and stay in the school for the disabled, she inspired a lot of people, doctors and patients in her piece that was posted on the bulletin board which was read as: “kung kaya kung malagpasan ang hinagpis, sa kabilang buhay, may naghihintay na bahaghari ng kasiyahan. Hindi ako maiinip, hindi ako magiging maramot at hindi ako susuko. Dahil dapat dahan dahan ang lahat ng bagay.at kahit gaano man kaliit ang hiling ko sa buhay,gusto ko pa ring makatulong sa iba...” even the doctors in the hospital of Jounan were inspired because of her courage and determination to live. Yoshifumi Asō, father of Haruto Asō (later her love interest who is helping her everyday) spoke some words to Dr. Mizuno, “we, the doctors should be the one to give strength to our patients but instead, they are the one who give us strength”.
Even though you are an ordinary individual, you can do something that can inspire others thru helping in all the best that you could give even only little things, being humble and caring to them; showing your appreciation and respect to them. Do what you can do today. You were given only one life, a gift from heaven. Use your life to help others. If you are down, stand up. In every down that you encounter, behind the darkness of crying clouds are gray –silver lines that appear after, a sign that the sun of hope will always there to shine on you. Life does not end there. The time will not stop just for you to wait when you fall down to stand up; it is you who has the power to decide of what you will do in your life. Value your friends and your family around you.
FAMILY- in her story, their family is a perfect example; where they help each member of the family in good and in worse. Even though it’s difficult to handle a situation like this of Aya, behind of this hardships and ordeals, they remain happy and strong to show to her that she can do it to overcome the disease that at the end, miracles and hope are always there though sometimes are frail.
It only shows that family is the one that we could lean on. Family is our first friend, our support, our hope and the courage that we could get on.
FRIENDS- aside from the family of Aya are her friends who truly love her; helping her in times of down. Even they encounter some conflict they remain still; but because of this conflict, it strengthens more and more their bonds than before.
Friends are our second family. True friends are always there even in times of trials. If we value our friends and their helpings, in return they do the same.
MY APPRECIATION OF THE STORY
I will continue to write articles regarding the “reflection to reality”, because I want to inspire others and change their negative views/beliefs in life and maybe this is my mission in life other than being a nurse to care patients; seem absurd of what I am saying but who knows. I want them to appreciate life, friends, family and God. I want them to remember me thru these articles as Aya Ikeuchi did thru her diary. That even in one day that I will be leaving this world; I want my friends and family and the others to remember me thru these as Aya or even Rizal as well coz someday I know my name will be oblivion (forgotten) but never on how I touched the hearts and lives of yours and the others and through that, I will continue to live forever thru this medium in the hearts of people whom I inspired.
No even one will be left on this world; life is a battle to survive, if you give-up then it is all over. Have you ever asked yourself why you’re still living?; because we exist here to find our mission and find our meaning in life. Life is in our very own hands to protect and value.
Like Aya, she said “Mother, why am I still living?”
It hurts for Aya to know that her time is limited, but it hurts more to her mother to know that her daughter will leave her forever. She will not see Aya anymore. She will not feel the kind daughter she had once. The daughter that always beside her, when their eating their food the one who always serve beer to her father. Aya is a great friend, daughter, sister and inspiration.
She inspired many people around the world. She found her mission to help others in a little that she could despite of her disease which gave her insufficient time to live.
“OPTIONS IN LIFE ARE ALWAYS AVAILABLE, CHOOSE ONLY THE BEST”--YAWEH PARAWAN AVILES
“Life is like a butterfly, at first it is a crawling insect and no one likes it and it receives negative judgments from others, but when the time comes it will show its real beauty and will start its mission to balance the beauty of God’s kingdom that even the judgmental ones will amaze; in life, at first we are strangers to others, no one likes us, we are judged based from our physical or outside gestures, but one day when they know our real beauty inside, as good individuals, they learn to appreciate and love us of who we are, our value and role in the society, our mission to help others.”--YAWEH PARAWAN AVILES
1. Turn negative energy to positive energy. Connoting if you are in the state of forlorn, find some ways to deflect it and be happy. Not thinking too much what makes you sad, happy moments penetrates now into your mind.
